|
Anonymous said: withdrawal from what, may I ask? experiences and feelings I was addicted to.
Anonymous said: what's this prince doing without his princess? Being upset and pouting a lot and buying things… I guess I’ve also been reckless lately… I don’t know… biding time… looking for escapes… that is all. My life has basically become equivalent to the life of an addict’s trying to cope with the withdrawal. I have been trying to create a new one but it is much harder to rebuild or create something than it is to hold onto something already created.
Where am I? I don’t know.
I am here right now in a place where things are never as they should be and all of the things that feel right are only right for a moment. I want many things that if obtained would create hatred, distain and envy. I am constantly away from this hell where I am stuck because being there is not somewhere i’d like to stay. Everyone I know wants me to remain where I am and as I am, but I constantly have to escape to my imaginary world where things are better and shall turn out as they should. I miss my ole girl because she took me away from this place without me having to leave the comfort of it,… I miss my best friend because she means the world to me. I am agreeing to things that I want currently in this world because these things grant me an escape. My whole life has been about escaping, for one moment and for a single moment, I thought that this place could become a comfortable home for myself…. and then I woke up right back in a harsh reality that never changes but never stays the same. I hate everything. I want it all gone, or at least a break in these harsh withdrawals i’ve faced since detox.
This is to you, and you know who it is to.
I have come to a realization, inspired by fits of depression, a binge of drinking, and copious amounts of distractions.I care about you, but unless something fantastic changes in the near future then it is impossible. Think about it from my position. I care about you endlessly and I really don’t know how to explain the love I have, but it reaches beyond time and eternity and all of this past, present and future that everyone is stuck in. Beyond the reaches of space, and dimension… I simply love. It is as if I have found a beautiful flower on the moon, and as soon as I had found that divine flower that is you, I wanted to keep you, and take you along with me on my travels. Right now, I have realized as the astronaut on the moon would have as well, that taking you with me could lead to the destruction of us both. If you are taken from where you are, you may wither, and If I take you with me, I may meet a much sooner demise as a result. Therefore I believe it is the best for us both, if I allow you to grow and prosper. You have much to learn and I have many adventures to go on. I also have much space to travel. Regardless of this newly created void of space that has recently brought itself into existence in our lives, I make you a promise. For one, I promise that as of right now you do pose a great danger to my future dreams of smoking again with you, the way that I have envisioned. For two I promise that I shall not cross the universe and forget you, and I will not return home without passing back to the spot where I had found you. I will not return home without you, but I cannot guarantee the amount of time my trip will take. I am guessing a few years, so as to give you time to grow roots and maybe even into a small tree. I love you my space flower. I promise to leave crumbs behind me every step of the way, so that I know exactly where to go. With love, The Depressed-Astronaut-Fish
I have deleted both my Facebook and my Twitter. I am now Super Human and the rules of physics and life don’t apply to me! Yay
A 4ft drop.
Standing on a small platform in infinity I have a small stove and am holding two eggs. The invisible force says to me that I am to make an omelet with only one of the eggs and the other I am to allow drop to the ground while withholding faith in my heart that, that beloved egg will not shatter on the floor. The problem I have is that I do not want to drop either one and they are already covered in cracks. I have found that the longer I wait to drop one, the deeper the cracks seem to get. The chances are almost infinite that both shall end up on the floor, before I have myself an omelet and I hate this reality because I can do little to change it without risking what I have already caused. |
home ask me archive themes |
margin-bottom: 20px;
}
div#header h1 {
margin: 10px 0;
text-align: right;
text-transform: uppercase;
font-size: 46px;
font-weight: bold;
line-height: 40px;
text-spacing: -10px;
font-family: Helvetica;
}
div#header h1 a {
text-decoration: none;
color: ;
}
/* LEFT COLUMN (Nav links, description) */
div#meta-column {
width: 150px;
float: left;
}
div#meta-column ul#navigation {
margin: 0;
padding: 0;
list-style-type: none;
}
div#meta-column ul {
list-style-type: none;
margin: 0 0 5px 15px;
padding: 0
}
div#meta-column ul li a {
color: ;
text-decoration: none;
}
div#meta-column ul#navigation li {
display: inline;
float: left;
padding-right: 10px;
}
div#meta-column ul#navigation li a {
text-decoration: none;
color: ;
font-weight: bold;
}
div#meta-column p {
color: ;
font-size: 12px;
font-weight: bold;
line-height: 20px;
font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;
}
div#meta-column p a {
color: ;
font-weight: bold;
text-decoration: none;
}
div#meta-column div.description {
color: ;
font-size: 12px;
font-weight: bold;
line-height: 20px;
font-family: Helvetica;
margin-top: 10px;
}
div#meta-column div.description a {
color: ;
font-weight: bold;
text-decoration: none;
}
/* SEARCH */
div#meta-column div.search {
margin-top: 10px;
}
div#meta-column div.search form input.term {
width: 150px;
}
/* MAIN CONTENT COLUMN */
div#content-column {
width: 500px;
float: right;
}
div#content-column .post {
border-bottom: none;
padding-bottom: 30px;
margin-bottom: 60px;
}
div#content-column .post a {
color: ;
font-weight: bold;
text-decoration: none;
}
div#content-column .post .date {
float: left;
font: 10px/16px Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;
padding: 0;
text-transform: uppercase;
margin-bottom: 10px;
}
div#content-column .post .date a {
color: ;
text-decoration: none;
}
div#content-column .post .type {
float: right;
font: 10px/16px Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;
color: ;
padding: 0;
text-transform: uppercase;
margin-bottom: 10px;
}
div#content-column .post h2 {
margin: 0px 0 10px 0;
font-weight: normal;
text-transform: uppercase;
font-size: 14px;
font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;
}
div#content-column .post h2 a {
color: !important;
text-decoration: none;
}
div#content-column .post p {
margin: 0;
padding: 0 0 10px 0;
}
/* QUOTE SPECIFIC */
div#content-column .quote blockquote {
margin: 0;
}
div#content-column .quote blockquote p {
font: 14px/20px Palatino, Georgia, serif;
color: ;
font-style: italic;
}
div#content-column .quote blockquote {
font: 14px/20px Palatino, Georgia, serif;
color: ;
font-style: italic;
}
div#content-column .quote .source {
font-size: 10px;
text-align: right;
padding: 0;
}
/* TEXT SPECIFIC */
div#content-column .text img {
max-width: 100%;
border: 3px solid #000;
margin: 0 auto 8px auto;
display: block;
}
/* PHOTO SPECIFIC */
div#content-column .photo img {
border: 3px solid #000;
margin: 0 auto 8px auto;
display: block;
}
/* VIDEO SPECIFIC */
div#content-column .video object {
border: 3px solid #000;
margin-bottom: 8px;
}
/* CHAT SPECIFIC */
div#content-column .chat ul {
padding: 0;
margin: 0;
list-style-type: none;
}
div#content-column .chat ul li {
padding: 5px;
margin: 5px 0;
}
/* AUDIO SPECIFIC */
div#content-column .audio embed {
margin-bottom: 10px;
}
/* TAGS */
div#content-column .post p.tags {
font-style: italic;
font-size: 11px;
}
p.tags a {
padding: 0 5px;
}
/* SOURCE URLS */
div#content-column .post p.source_url {
font-style: italic;
font-size: 11px;
}
p.source_url a {
padding: 0 5px;
}
/* COMMENTS */
div#content-column .post p.comments {
font-size: 11px;
}
#disqus_thread #dsq-content #dsq-new-post.dsq-post-area h3,
#disqus_thread #dsq-content #dsq-new-post.dsq-post-area .dsq-dc-logo,
#disqus_thread #dsq-content td.dsq-request-user-name small,
#disqus_thread #dsq-content td.dsq-request-user-stats,
#disqus_thread #dsq-content .dsq-sharing-options,
#disqus_thread #dsq-content .dsq-comments-title,
#disqus_thread #dsq-content .dsq-options,
#disqus_thread #dsq-content .dsq-thread-settings,
#disqus_thread #dsq-content .dsq-comments-title,
#disqus_thread #dsq-content .dsq-comments-title h3 {
display: none;
}
/* PAGINATION */
div#pagination {
font: 12px/14px Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;
font-style: italic;
}
div#pagination a {
text-decoration: none;
color: ;
font-weight: bold;
}
div#pagination #pages {
float: left;
}
div#pagination #nav-pages {
float: right;
}
/* NOTES */
ol.notes {
padding: 0px;
margin: 25px 0px;
list-style-type: none;
}
ol.notes a {
color: ;
text-decoration: none;
}
ol.notes li.note {
padding: 10px;
}
ol.notes li.note img.avatar {
vertical-align: -4px;
margin-right: 10px;
width: 16px;
height: 16px;
border: 2px solid #000;
}
ol.notes li.note span.action {
font-weight: bold;
}
ol.notes li.note .answer_content {
font-weight: normal;
}
ol.notes li.note blockquote {
border-color: #eee;
padding: 4px 10px;
margin: 10px 0px 0px 25px;
color: ;
}
ol.notes li.note blockquote a {
text-decoration: none;
}
#disqus_thread a {
color: ;
text-decoration: none;
}
I am here right now in a place where things are never as they should be and all of the things that feel right are only right for a moment. I want many things that if obtained would create hatred, distain and envy. I am constantly away from this hell where I am stuck because being there is not somewhere i’d like to stay. Everyone I know wants me to remain where I am and as I am, but I constantly have to escape to my imaginary world where things are better and shall turn out as they should. I miss my ole girl because she took me away from this place without me having to leave the comfort of it,… I miss my best friend because she means the world to me. I am agreeing to things that I want currently in this world because these things grant me an escape. My whole life has been about escaping, for one moment and for a single moment, I thought that this place could become a comfortable home for myself…. and then I woke up right back in a harsh reality that never changes but never stays the same.
I hate everything. I want it all gone, or at least a break in these harsh withdrawals i’ve faced since detox.
I have come to a realization, inspired by fits of depression, a binge of drinking, and copious amounts of distractions.I care about you, but unless something fantastic changes in the near future then it is impossible. Think about it from my position. I care about you endlessly and I really don’t know how to explain the love I have, but it reaches beyond time and eternity and all of this past, present and future that everyone is stuck in. Beyond the reaches of space, and dimension… I simply love. It is as if I have found a beautiful flower on the moon, and as soon as I had found that divine flower that is you, I wanted to keep you, and take you along with me on my travels. Right now, I have realized as the astronaut on the moon would have as well, that taking you with me could lead to the destruction of us both. If you are taken from where you are, you may wither, and If I take you with me, I may meet a much sooner demise as a result. Therefore I believe it is the best for us both, if I allow you to grow and prosper. You have much to learn and I have many adventures to go on. I also have much space to travel. Regardless of this newly created void of space that has recently brought itself into existence in our lives, I make you a promise. For one, I promise that as of right now you do pose a great danger to my future dreams of smoking again with you, the way that I have envisioned. For two I promise that I shall not cross the universe and forget you, and I will not return home without passing back to the spot where I had found you. I will not return home without you, but I cannot guarantee the amount of time my trip will take. I am guessing a few years, so as to give you time to grow roots and maybe even into a small tree. I love you my space flower. I promise to leave crumbs behind me every step of the way, so that I know exactly where to go.
That is all metaphorical and I know that it probably makes sense to you as it is up there ^^ but I wanted to further explain this new insanity. They were fishing. With the “research” they had done and the “recording”. They simply wanted a reason… Although they never truly got one; imagine if they HAD? I am a small fish and they are pro bass fishermen on a boat. I will not forget. I will not forgive because I understand. I love you through every dimension and every moment in time. I hope you will forgive me for sending you on all of the psychedelic trips. I promise, that this and within the times we have ahead that this will not be your last hit, and I shall not quit this addiction to prozac for too long. I will inevitably relapse but at a more acceptable future time. I love you now, before, later and throughout the bounds of reality. I feel that if you read this, nothing traumatic will change between us but that because you understand, you will allow it to be so. I hate being patient more than death and I hate this more than burning for eternity.
With love,
The Depressed-Astronaut-Fish
Standing on a small platform in infinity I have a small stove and am holding two eggs. The invisible force says to me that I am to make an omelet with only one of the eggs and the other I am to allow drop to the ground while withholding faith in my heart that, that beloved egg will not shatter on the floor. The problem I have is that I do not want to drop either one and they are already covered in cracks. I have found that the longer I wait to drop one, the deeper the cracks seem to get. The chances are almost infinite that both shall end up on the floor, before I have myself an omelet and I hate this reality because I can do little to change it without risking what I have already caused.
Page 1 of 337
